u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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