NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
