Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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