That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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