Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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