The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
