watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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