Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
