Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
