I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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