Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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