Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
