Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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