I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
