You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
