I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
