i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
where are my eyebrows?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
