Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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