Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
