your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
