i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Panties = found
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
