I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
