i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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