seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
