Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
