I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
