i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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