The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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