Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
