Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
