Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
