I'm really into asian looking animals
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize