why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
People in love make me want to vomit
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
last night I used snow as a chaser
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
