your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
