I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I would ride that face into the sunset
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
