There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
