Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
