We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
