She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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