then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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