is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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