She went from zero to smokin in five shots
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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