My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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