Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
