I didn't shave. On purpose
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
