You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
