hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
