if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
it glows. i had to have it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
