i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
