if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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